My Thoughts....6/15

      You never know how powerful a tongue is until a person say
something that they cannot take it back. I had done it for years
toward the people who are really there for me. There are moments
I had hurt adults with the words that was coming out of my mouth.
I do know that words hurt but when you say things that are very hurtful
you tend to get use to it. Including "not think before I say something"-
I just say those strong words and not think about that person's feelings after
it was said. For years, it was my way to protect myself from anybody even
when I get frustrated about stuff, I don't state how I truly feel, I just unleash my anger
and not think about it until I calm down.  When you are hurt
for a very long time, it is hard to separate from those who are really there
for you to those who are just around to hurt and see you fail in life (& on
yourself). Sometimes, when you unleash your anger towards the wrong
people; you are actually pushing people away.

Why the pushing away? Because of fear- you do not want to be hurt again by protecting
yourself because people did not protect you from the beginning or Out of anger because
you are still carrying out that anger & humiliation from those who had betrayed your trust?

I do know it is the combination of both. Most people would tell me, "Get over it!"
To those who had experienced that pain & anguish from the past but it is difficult
to work through those issues; my response, "It will take one day at a time- just continue
to work on yourself."  Maybe something is telling me, "Megan, you need to continue to work
on yourself with the help from Jehovah." There still issues I continue to work on every single day-
it has not been easy for me.

I mean ever since my family and I had moved to Indianapolis, I became more angry and overprotective
of my child. I always learn to love your neighbor- Yeah! but not trust anybody with your child. It really stems
from my childhood when my own mother had left my sister & I with anybody and everybody including
her creepy husband. There are still things I need to continue to work on. It is just going to take everything
one day at a time with prayer and the realization on who is actually there in my corner. It takes time to lower
your guard down. Those who had suffered from abuse should understand the lasting effect when it comes
to trusting people including family and those who truly care about as a person.

It will take time-just don't give up on those around you and yourself.
Anyways, until next time....


Regarding to the book- "A Long Journey to Home" by Samantha Crystal:
It is available NOW on Amazon, Barns & Nobles and www.xlibris.com/bookstore.
I am planning a book tour starting the Spring of 2015, To those who had gotten the book
it will be a Q&A session including book signing. There will be some free refreshments,
I will make sure you eat well and enjoy the Q&A session. It will be something to remember.

My thoughts...

It is funny how people who had not been in your situation would try to "sweet talk" or talk for them when they were the culprits behind people being miserable. I had learned that when a person who had hurt you repeatedly (like over & over again) but have no remorse to how the way they had treated you...It is always time to move on and let miserable people be by themselves. It is when you try to extend the olive branch over again but in return people like to back stab you or do NOT respect you as an individual-that is when you really would want to make decisions in your life. As a person who had experienced this repeatedly over & over again by those who I thought was family but it is sad how those people appreciate you as a human being...when you give them the space they TRULY deserve.
Every person wanted to be accepted and love by those who are family. No family should be treating another family member like they are an ATM or destroy their property like it does not matter or to take another family member's spouse/or mate. When they reach that line of "No return" it is time to leave those so call family members ALONE. I had been disrespected over & over again by my own younger sister for example: the way she had disrespected my relationships by making inappropriate advances toward the person whom I had dated like smacking that guy on the butt or rubbing her foot against his foot including destroying my phone cord to my first phone ( which was my gift for graduating out of high school) or (the last straw) when she had attacked me with the knife. Restraining order or not, I knew it was time for me to stay far away from this girl as possible.
It was the same as my aunt; how people would not ask how she is doing if she need any help with the bills or having a car issue. Those "family members" would go to my aunt like she is an ATM. They did not even care about her feelings or what she had to go through on a regular basis but they would use her AND blame her for THEIR screw ups. It can be raining outside and they would still blame her for crazy stuff. So she had enough of their secrets, lies and the mistreatment; it was better to move to the city...far away from their nonsense. But it seems like no matter where ever she goes the lies tend to follow her everywhere all because of this culprit-My Grandfather.Anyways without those "toxic" people in the house. We are living a better life without them. So what ARE you doing to do when you are in a situation where people (whom you consider family) starts to disrespect you and mistreat you as a person?
To let you know: You deserve better-(YEAH, YOU). It is time to rise above the ashes and start living a better, happy and peaceful life with those "toxic people" causing so much distress in your life.You have feelings too! You deserve a different life and it is time to let go of those negative people out of your peaceful life that you have been yearning. Think about it and your life will change...for the better.
Anyways, until next time...

While you meditate on those thoughts, if you want to be encouraged and be inspired "A Long Journey to Home" by Samantha Crystal is available NOW nationwide. Warning: There are a couple of mistakes in the book but overall it is an inspirational book to read. There will be moments in the book where it will make you laugh, cry, and make you think. It is available on Amazon, Barns & Nobles, www.xlibris.com/bookstore and bookstores nationwide. You will love this book, it will make you want to take a stand against Abuse & domestic violence.