Sunday, June 15, 2014

My Thoughts....6/15

      You never know how powerful a tongue is until a person say
something that they cannot take it back. I had done it for years
toward the people who are really there for me. There are moments
I had hurt adults with the words that was coming out of my mouth.
I do know that words hurt but when you say things that are very hurtful
you tend to get use to it. Including "not think before I say something"-
I just say those strong words and not think about that person's feelings after
it was said. For years, it was my way to protect myself from anybody even
when I get frustrated about stuff, I don't state how I truly feel, I just unleash my anger
and not think about it until I calm down.  When you are hurt
for a very long time, it is hard to separate from those who are really there
for you to those who are just around to hurt and see you fail in life (& on
yourself). Sometimes, when you unleash your anger towards the wrong
people; you are actually pushing people away.

Why the pushing away? Because of fear- you do not want to be hurt again by protecting
yourself because people did not protect you from the beginning or Out of anger because
you are still carrying out that anger & humiliation from those who had betrayed your trust?

I do know it is the combination of both. Most people would tell me, "Get over it!"
To those who had experienced that pain & anguish from the past but it is difficult
to work through those issues; my response, "It will take one day at a time- just continue
to work on yourself."  Maybe something is telling me, "Megan, you need to continue to work
on yourself with the help from Jehovah." There still issues I continue to work on every single day-
it has not been easy for me.

I mean ever since my family and I had moved to Indianapolis, I became more angry and overprotective
of my child. I always learn to love your neighbor- Yeah! but not trust anybody with your child. It really stems
from my childhood when my own mother had left my sister & I with anybody and everybody including
her creepy husband. There are still things I need to continue to work on. It is just going to take everything
one day at a time with prayer and the realization on who is actually there in my corner. It takes time to lower
your guard down. Those who had suffered from abuse should understand the lasting effect when it comes
to trusting people including family and those who truly care about as a person.

It will take time-just don't give up on those around you and yourself.
Anyways, until next time....


Regarding to the book- "A Long Journey to Home" by Samantha Crystal:
It is available NOW on Amazon, Barns & Nobles and www.xlibris.com/bookstore.
I am planning a book tour starting the Spring of 2015, To those who had gotten the book
it will be a Q&A session including book signing. There will be some free refreshments,
I will make sure you eat well and enjoy the Q&A session. It will be something to remember.

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